BOOZE?

Once I discovered that no respectable Portland Brewery would hire a no-experienced schmuck like myself, I started going from distillery door to distillery door in search of a job.  Most of the distillers—like folks at Artisan Spirits and House Spirits—were really cool and gave it to me straight:

“We’d love to hire someone,” they confessed, “But we just can’t afford it right now.”

After this, they’d usually chat with me for a while about craft liquors and we’d end the conversation on a generally jovial note.

Steve McCarthy of Clear Creak Distillery, the so-called “granddaddy of the local craft distilling movement,” however, grunted some foul words about sub-par wannabe distillers and lazy employees when I knocked on his door inquiring about employment.  As he snatched the resume out of my hand, he promptly slammed the door in my face while bickering about self-important interns.

Now get me straight, I have no ill will against Mr. McCarthy; he creates fine spirits and I currently have a bottle on my liquor shelf.  However, I just want to make it clear that I fully support any publication describing him as a “cranky grandpa.”